I Abhor Hipsters

How the hell are hipsters bearded but still manage to look so damn feminine? From the tight pants to the high voices – ughh, what a turn off. Most of them look like they would scream and flail their arms if they saw a roach.

Actual shitty photo taken by yours truly of hipster men carrying purses in downtown Manhattan

I’m so tired of their pretentious asses. I hate how they call people B&T when they aren’t even from New York themselves. I hate those gelled haired, chain rocking train wrecks as much as the next person, but that’s not what all Queens/Bronx/Staten Island/Brooklyn natives are like. These assholes move to New York with their parents’ funds from wherever the fuck and then act like they’re more New York than us because they can afford Marc  Jacobs / organic cotton whatever the hell they wear when they’re not wearing something my grandmother would wear that they found at a thrift shop* to give some “originality” to their look (because no matter how many hipsters there are, they all manage to believe that they are original, creative and special). They think they are better than everyone else because they like (or pretend to, since their friends do) shitty Indie rock bands that are not famous for good reasons. I hope all of their parents go bankrupt so they can no longer afford their overpriced lofts, Ray Bans and organic produce*. I would love to see one of these shitheads forced back to whatever small town they came from so they would no longer flood the streets of New York sticking their noses up at the real New Yorkers!

*Just for the record, I like thrift shopping and organic produce, but I am not pretentious and snooty about it.

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