Auras

Ever notice how just being around certain people can lift your mood? And how being around other certain people can completely destroy it? I am lucky to have several people in my life who give me an automatic boost by just being around them. We have great conversation and they just make me feel good about myself. Unfortunately, I do not get to see all of them often enough. And cliche as it is, they seem to just have light and positivity flooding from their pores, outwards towards everyone with whom they associate.

Then there are those who are just so miserable that you feel like you’re sinking when you’re around them. I have a miserable friend like that who is in such suffering that she takes it out on others around her and pushes people away. She doesn’t really seem to do it maliciously, but there are plenty of people out there that do. They make negative comments about your looks or the way you dress (usually something superficial, since these people place no value in character being that they have none). They try to give you “advice,” but it is not done from a good place. It is done to make you feel stupid. Their lives are usually flooded in negativity. Drugs/alcohol may be involved. They are only out for themselves and nobody else. I used to try to change these people; I used to try to get close to them and help them. Of course, they would just use and abuse me and take me for granted. Thankfully, shortly after reaching adulthood I learned to abruptly cut these people out of my life. No long, drawn out goodbyes or arguments about why they are the way they are, because that would change nothing. Just *snip* goodbye. Have a nice life. It’s liberating, really.

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Teenagers

Teenagers. Where do I begin? The females think that they’re women because they have a little blood in their panties. The males think they’re men because their penises have grown and they even have hair down there! A few pubes does not a man make, my friend.

When I see groups of them on the subway I switch train cars. They are loud, obnoxious, think they know everything when they don’t know shit and annoying. I can’t believe I ever was one. And I was a bad one. Me and my friends used to be those loud brats on the subway, doing random things to annoy people, making noise, riding in between the train cars for fun. I thought life was hard because my crush didn’t like me or because I couldn’t get a new pair of Jordans (don’t make fun, I’m from Queens). I was disrespectful to my parents. I didn’t appreciate what I had. I wish that I could go back in time and slap my teenage self in the face. I am so behind on my rent right now that I can’t believe there was a time where I didn’t have to pay any bills and thought I had problems.

And if all of that isn’t enough to make me hate them, how about the fact that one actually had the nerve to push me into the train tracks in the subway?

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I Abhor Too Much Makeup During the Day

For the past month in New York City it has been in the high 80s/90s every single day. And humid, might I add. So why I see broads walking around with faces full of foundation, blush, eye shadow and eyeliner on is beyond me. Don’t get me wrong, I wear tinted moisturizer every day and sometimes even mascara. If I’m going out at night, I might add a little more. But that’s where it ends. I can’t believe most of these bitches’ faces aren’t dripping off. Unless you are a dayshift stripper/work for MAC, I really don’t see why you need all of that makeup on during the day. I’ve worked in offices with broads like this. They’re the same ones that come in wearing 5 inch heels on a daily basis. They flirt with their horny, old, married coworkers to give their self esteem a boost and wear things that are a bit too revealing for the office.

And don’t get me started on all of the fancy eye shadow. I don’t know why girls like the drag queen look. I don’t care where you’re going, honey. Lime green eye shadow NEVER looks good. Never mind to the office.

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I Abhor Hipsters

How the hell are hipsters bearded but still manage to look so damn feminine? From the tight pants to the high voices – ughh, what a turn off. Most of them look like they would scream and flail their arms if they saw a roach.

Actual shitty photo taken by yours truly of hipster men carrying purses in downtown Manhattan

I’m so tired of their pretentious asses. I hate how they call people B&T when they aren’t even from New York themselves. I hate those gelled haired, chain rocking train wrecks as much as the next person, but that’s not what all Queens/Bronx/Staten Island/Brooklyn natives are like. These assholes move to New York with their parents’ funds from wherever the fuck and then act like they’re more New York than us because they can afford Marc  Jacobs / organic cotton whatever the hell they wear when they’re not wearing something my grandmother would wear that they found at a thrift shop* to give some “originality” to their look (because no matter how many hipsters there are, they all manage to believe that they are original, creative and special). They think they are better than everyone else because they like (or pretend to, since their friends do) shitty Indie rock bands that are not famous for good reasons. I hope all of their parents go bankrupt so they can no longer afford their overpriced lofts, Ray Bans and organic produce*. I would love to see one of these shitheads forced back to whatever small town they came from so they would no longer flood the streets of New York sticking their noses up at the real New Yorkers!

*Just for the record, I like thrift shopping and organic produce, but I am not pretentious and snooty about it.

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